This day was more than just joyous and exciting and emotional, all at once, for me as it is for anyone and everyone. Accompanying me on this precious day were my elder sister and mother and they were more proud of me on this day than they were the time I won my black belt for years of dedicated karate.
June 18, 2016, started with a morning more than unusual, it was an emotional roller-coaster. I was crying and smiling and laughing and then crying again. I’ve always been good at hiding my greater emotions like the ones I was having this morning, so naturally no one at home noticed the anxiety and nervousness that swirled in the pit of my stomach. This particular day had kept me so busy with anxiety on days together that I picked my saree (the attire I’m wearing), my jewelry, my purse, my make-up, my practice with heels in a saree (extremely risky) and every other detail about the graduation ceremony was completed within three hours post midday (three hours is more than quick for an arrangement like this one).
On the way to college in the taxi, nervously smoking and straightening my saree, I sat wondering what it would feel like to enter that college for the last time as a student. It was surreal and shattering, cruel and exciting. To stop myself from being pulled down fully into my anxious breathlessness, I focused on the grey sky and force distraction on my mind. (not very difficult, for some reason)
After reaching a college full of people in sarees and blazers and kurtas and everything traditional, as per the dress code, I entered into a whole new world. Met up with friends, said our Hellos and ‘you look so pretty!’ wishes, after collecting remaining documents from the college office, pictures with favourite professors and finally, lining up to enter the main hall of the ceremony. if anything, this moment felt auspicious, yes, auspicious!
We sat on our excited arses for hours until the ceremony was over and students were to be reunited with their families for a ceremonial dinner, it felt lighter at heart but heavier with excess food and socialising with families of friends we had never seen before. Mother and sister absolutely rejoiced at my achievements and completion of an important milestone of my long journey.
Unlike everyone else I was part of this college not for five but for six long and short years and it felt like only a second had passed by. All the memories, the people I’d met- good and bad, the friends that came and left, the boys and girls that sent me warmth through lust and romance, the professors that became friends and mentors for life, the people that I ran to when I needed help and had no one to go to; reminiscing the heartbreaks and hook-ups I cherished, the hours of prayer the chapel lent me and much, much more than this. I only warmly smiled through all of this ascending before my eyes as I clicked pictures in my college quadrangle for literally, the last time as a Xavierite and not an ex-Xavierite.
There was an after-party left for this occasion to fully end, only this after-party I happen to have no evidence of whatsoever (why do I always get that drunk?). This after-party was my personal goodbye to college-life. I was about to leave for my private celebration (I was hosting it and I was the only one invited, on purpose!) when an old friend came by to cherish my important day. We drank all kinds of alcohol and danced till I could take no more and yeah, threw up on the way home (I was safe, though, thank God!) and you would hardly believe, I passed out on my kitchen floor after reaching home.
Understand this, this day defined my college years to me and I would’ve have had it the same way if I went back, with nothing changed or altered.
THANK GOD I ENDED IT WITH A BANG!
I will always cherish this day in all of my lifetime and I pray, I always remain the same old Dinky that entered Xavier’s with a heart full of warmth and a mind full of ideas, a friend and a soulmate and the strength and the gentle that holds an everlasting rose.