i am in love with the solitude i’m left with.

it never leaves me be.

with every passing day i wonder more,

what really becomes of love.

how selfish is one’s need for love,

how cunning can kindness be,

in love is the sky with the soil beneath it,

how ironic that they never meet.

so time will pass as so will i,

with love for an excuse to end or survive,

how typical whether i agree or deny,

love is always the realest thing.

So tired.

I just want to be withheld by something or someone. I just want to be free of these burdens that I’m meant to carry because I’m born a certain way. I just need someone to let me be disfigured and unknown to my future.

I’m tired of listening to things I’m supposed to be doing, I don’t want to struggle in the one thing I’m alive in, that is my life. Soulfully. When it feels happy or even a little exciting, I don’t want to feel like I’m gonna come back to something I cannot fix.

Please. Make it peaceful. I cannot be peaceful already, I’m 22 years old and suffocating; your world makes me want to hope for something longer and I cannot survive this alone, there’s nothing walking with me in this, I’m alone in this long-lonely journey and you make me feel burdened by things I’m not competitive about.

I could kill myself and I could always write ¬†about this when I’m high because sober, I’m taught to be happy, even if I don’t feel like it; because depression could you survive underneath all the happy creases and no one would know, because depression survives in every victim it catches hold of.

I won’t label anything or anyone yet, but I, a merely happy-looking person, wants to just leave. I just want to leave. I don’t need your byes and wishes. I just want to leave, without that formal greeting. I want to leave with the insignificance your God offers me. I want to just leave as a nameless light of sound.


Song of the day- Only for you by Heartless Bastards.